Dispatches from the North: Retrospective Part IV

This is my last retrospective, luckily these four weeks “off” have replenished my reservoir of interesting and even death-defying tales. Every year during the first week of August the Hartlepool Carnival takes place at the Headland which is culminated with the Carnival Parade. Below I relate my first experience with this parade.

Last weekend was the Hartlepool carnival which was culminated with a “parade”. I use the term parade very loosely. First of all, there wasn’t really any theme to speak of. Usually when there is a parade I expect there to be an occassion or theme like “Thanksgiving” or “Independence Day” or even “The Red Wings won the Stanley Cup… AGAIN!” It doesn’t really matter what the theme is, I just like know that there is some theme or purpose for the parade. This was not the case with Hartlepool’s carnival parade. I think the only theme I might have been able to draw, since it was the only recurring costume was The Canoe Man:

If I never mentioned it before, there was a big story this year that made international headlines when a man from Hartlepool faked his own death in an insurance scam. John Darwin, now know as “The Canoe Man” was a neighbour of ours, living just a few doors down from us here on the sea front. In 2002 John Darwin was out canoeing one day in the sea (its actually more like kayaking) and he never returned. His body was never found after the Coast Guard searched for him and he was pronounced dead and his wife was awarded his life insurance money. For the past 5 years John Darwin has been living in a “secret room” in their home, but his act was up when he and his wife tried to purchase some property in Panama. When he realized the police were getting close to discovering his scheme he stumbled into a London police station claiming amnesia and no knowledge of the past 5 years but the police saw through his act and he was arrested. He and his wife were recently sentenced to 6 years in prison for their scheme.

In true English spirit, instead of sweeping this man under the rug or trying to keep it on the hush while the story blew over, the people of Hartlepool have embraced the Canoe Man and he is the butt of every joke and quite possibly the only theme that could be found in the parade.

Back to the parade, it can best be described as a bunch of drunk people dressed in Halloween costumes wandering aimlessly down a street lined with children. There were only two floats, one with the local beauty pageant winners and another that had an Easter theme- in August. The only thing I could think was that maybe they didn’t disassemble their Easter parade float and decided to recycle it for this parade. The only other theme, which is thoroughly English, was “men dressed as women”. We have a hula girl…

Her Majesty the Queen…

and of course, Amy Winehouse…

Mr. Winehouse was probably my favorite because right before this photo was taken he walked off the street, through the crowd and into the pub across the street and emerged with a pint of lager. I think it pretty much summed up the whole spirit of the parade. Other than the photos I have posted here, people pretty much wore whatever costumes they had and entered themselves into the parade. There was a troupe of Elvises, the characters from the Wizard of Oz, zombies, and numerous other random costumes with no relationship whatsoever to each other.

Well, that was my first experience with an English “parade” but I have to believe that there are better parades to be seen in England.

This year I didn’t bother to go to the parade, although I did hear from my driving instructor that it started about 3 hours late. I have found that my attitude toward this parade is shared by most people and people avoid going to it, or at least they avoid going to it sober.

I mentioned that I believed there must be better examples of parades in England but as it turns out, parades are more of an American thing. At least the candy-throwing, float-towing and band-marching parade I as an American am used to. However I have found that whether on a large scale or a small scale, Brits are experts when it comes to military parades. This year I watched in wonder as hundreds of horses marched in time and a mounted band played challenging military march music, The Trouping of the Colour was one of the most impressive “parades” I have ever seen. The American parade is less about skill and more about organization, but The Trouping of the Colour is the epitome of both.

But Brits don’t even need all the resources of the Royal Family to put on a solemn military parade. This year on the anniversary of D-Day the surviving WWII veterans in Hartlepool marched through the town square. They were a small group, with nothing but a small boom box to play the music they marched to, but they organized and carried out this parade on their own in such a moving way. It was sad how few people came to see their little parade. My husband and I were among only about 20 spectators but the men and women still marched along paying no notice to how many people they were marching before.