Dispatches from the North: What it means to be an Expat

Several things this week have made me consider “what it means to be an expat” and some observations have come to my attention as I have pondered this. As usual, I will preface this by pointing out this is my personal experience and while everyone’s experience is probably going to be different I would like to think my experience doesn’t deviate too far from the norm.

Not for the Shy

Especially in Britain. People don’t consider me an immigrant, but they do consider me fascinatingly different. I must be prepared at any given moment to give my life story to a complete stranger. People are curious about foreigners and the fact that I speak English and look like them (but paler if you can believe it) means they are even more bold with their questions. They converse with me in a way I can imagine they never would with someone who speaks a different language or isn’t of European descent. I can’t imagine how difficult this lifestyle would be for a shy person, I am very outgoing and at times even I feel very uncomfortable and put on the spot.

A Lesson in Patience

I have never been a patient person, so although being patient isn’t a prerequisite it sure does come in handy and if you don’t arrive here patient you most certainly will end up that way before too long. I have found it so important to be patient with people, life in general and most importantly myself. As a constant self critic the latter has been the most difficult. I have to be patient with people when they start naming off all of the people they know in America and asking if I know them. I have to be patient with myself when I can’t make toast on the grill in an English cooker.

Patriotism Dichotomy

I suppose this is something that may balance itself out in time when I have British children and a British passport, but although I appreciate all that this country has to offer there is still something inside me the resists. As I stood on stage with my choir this past weekend I found I could not bring myself to sing “God Save the Queen” I feel no animosity toward the Queen or Britain or national pride, it simply feels fundamentally wrong for me to sing another country’s national anthem. National anthems are songs that have deep meaning to their people whether they know it or not. At the Olympics of all the inspiring and stirring moments, hearing your country’s national anthem is probably the most moving experience of the games. I simply can’t sing a song that doesn’t give me that feeling, it is nothing personal but I will choose to quietly stand and respectfully observe British patriotism instead of taking part.

Perspective

Living in a foreign country gives me a very different perspective on my own homeland as well as my new one. Probably the most common question I am asked is how I like it here or how it compares to life in America. The majority of people assume I will answer by telling them Chicago was so much better, but I always tell them that it is just different and there are pros and cons to both. I really enjoy being in a position to bring to someone’s attention the things about their home that they often take for granted like the NHS the mild climate and the laid-back lifestyle.

Love of Americana

In these past months I have felt myself very drawn to all kinds of Americana. I watch things I wouldn’t normally watch on television, I enjoy traditional American folk songs more than I ever did and gravitate toward any Starbucks I encounter. In a nearby retail park there is actually a Borders bookstore with a wonderful Starbucks and it is my haven. Sometimes when I am feeling sad or I have had a frustrating week I make my husband take me there. It is like a little enclave of America for me to enjoy.

Getting Involved

This may have more to do with the fact that I am still looking for work, but since I have moved here I have felt an overwhelming need to get involved in my new community. I have joined two choirs, and there are many other things I would really love to do. I suppose possibly because I am looking for people who are like me and also to “belong”. The best way to do that is to get involved in things that interest me in hopes of meeting people but also to really establish myself as a functioning part of this community instead of an outsider.

These are just a few of the things I think really define the expat experience. I would be happy to hear other expats’ views and observations on this subject, please feel free to post any of your additions to this list in the comments section.