Talking Telly: Never Fear Fans, John & Edward On Way Out On ‘The X Factor’
October 26, 2009 by Dana
Filed under BBC, British TV, Talking Telly
I never thought I’d say this, especially after she got the No. 1 single in Britain a week after Robbie Williams unfairly didn’t, but I have to agree with Cheryl Cole. John & Edward, the Irish twins who cannot really sing on “The X Factor”, have become my guilty pleasure.
Instead of looking up the YouTube videos of contestants who are clearly better, like Joe McElderry (my personal pick to win) or Lucie Jones or Stacey Solomon, I looked for J&E’s cover of “She Bangs”. And it didn’t disappoint. I can’t stand their vocals or their terrible, terrible hair, but they are cute as buttons and have better stage presence than Sanjaya ever did on “American Idol”.
It’s a shame then that Danyl Johnson, Simon Cowell’s Anointed One for the year, almost got voted out this week, which has somehow sparked an investigation by Simon and ITV. And Miss Frank, the group who should have gone further just because they’d overcome not being a group until two months ago, went home.
J&E will have to pull out the big guns this week to even have a chance. Yes, we will finally get “Let’s Get Ready To Rhumble” if Louis Walsh has the sense God gave a goose. That song was their music bed throughout the audition shows and it’s clear that the twins are wanting some PJ and Duncan magic. But ITV is going to have to let the Grimes twins lose.
Don’t get me wrong – the voting is not rigged. After the debacle with Ant & Dec, Robbie Williams (let’s see how many times I can mention him in one column?) and the National Television Awards a couple of years ago, ITV can’t take the chance of having their voting system come under investigation again. At the moment they’re winning beating the BBC this year in public perception, just because of the Jonathan Ross/Russell Brand brouhaha and the Question Time riot last week. Katie Price and Peter Andre would have to get in a physical altercation on camera for the network to look as bad as the Beeb does right now.
But although it’s not really fair in my opinion, Danyl can be just as bullying and cocky as he wants and still will get to the top 3. He’s going to have the best song choice of everyone and get the final slot on Saturday. Simon gets his way on everything where the XF is concerned.
Why does Louis Walsh always get the groups? He has a right to bitch to the Mirror about that. By all rights, Cheryl should have gotten them this year. Simon has the hottest category by far, with Danyl and Jamie “Afro” Archer, who had the best performance of the week and made Louis into a hypocrite for bitching that “Angel of Harlem” wasn’t big-band enough (when did “She Bangs” become a big-band classic?)
If Cheryl wins again with Joe, she might want to start begging for the judging job on the American version of the XF that Fox is developing, because even Dannii Minogue will be on safer ground. And this is after Dannii somehow managed to offend the whole LGBT population of Great Britain in Live Week 1.
So what will be the next controversy to pop up on the “Fake Factor”? Since Rob (see, #3), Cheryl and Whitney Houston have already performed and been slated during the first two weeks of the results show, maybe ITV should call Lindsay Lohan. I hear she works for cheap these days.
Author Info - I've always felt British despite being born in a tiny town in southern Tennessee. I've wandered around a lot, mostly due to my career in new media for local TV stations, I currently live in Huntsville, AL and use my TARDIS to watch British TV. My favorite Brit shows are Britain's Got Talent (heck, anything Ant and Dec do is a fave), Torchwood, Doctor Who, The Sunday Night Project Project, Later...With Jools Holland, and a million different things. Read more from this author
I couldn’t believe that Louis had the nerve to split hairs over Jamie doing a U2 song and then tried to qualify Ricky Martin as big band. I also took up major issue with him using a Britney song last week, the reason they do diva week is to separate the men from the boys by forcing them all to tackle songs from vocal powerhouses. Britney is a pop star but she doesn’t qualify as a diva and singing “Oops I Did It Again” didn’t put them on a level playing field with the rest of the group attempting Tina Turner and Whitney Houston.
I actually wasn’t surprised that Danyl ended up in the bottom. I find him creepy, I don’t like his vocal technique and I don’t think Simon’s assault on the other judges has helped. I think a lot of voters probably voted for the other acts out of spite and Simon needs to reconsider how dirty he should play this. I think the fact that J&E stayed in another week and Danyl was in the bottom 2 is evidence that the public is fed up with Simon. On last year’s X Factor he wasn’t nearly this brutal, and I remember remarking to my husband that he wasn’t nearly as nasty to his own countrymen as he is to people on American Idol. I think he has brought that American Idol attitude to the X Factor and it is backfiring on him big time. The thing I don’t get is that he is going after the judges instead of the acts themselves. Usually I agree with his critiques of the contestants, I just don’t get the point of turning it around on the judges.
Yeah, I agree that Britney is hardly a diva. The only way she qualifies as a diva is in the same way that Kelly Clarkson and Miley Cyrus somehow ended up on VH1 Divas – the kiddies don’t know what a real diva is. And somehow I’m grateful that J&E didn’t somehow end up doing “Party in the USA” instead of the Britney song, which I enjoyed in the better-than-a-trainwreck fashion that I enjoy Katie Price’s TV show.
I think Simon’s reaction is partially an overreaction after getting so much criticism for turning Susan Boyle into the 8th Wonder on Earth and then the ensuing hoopla when she didn’t win “Britain’s Got Talent”. Heck, I’m still hearing about that one from my mama. I think that Americans would have caught onto Susan anyway through the magic of YouTube, but before that point Simon had never given a standing ovation, ever. After her I’ve counted three on BGT and at least one on the XF.
Add to that the Cheryl Cole factor and him very unfairly blaming her for Olly’s subpar performance last week (which frankly I thought was okay and better than Miss Frank’s) and the whole blowup on Dannii the week before, and I agree that Simon’s become a bully. I remember one week last year where he came thisclose to coming to blows with Louis, and I wonder if it might actually happen off-stage in coming weeks. Not to mention him getting in a screaming match over song choice with Jamie this week. Has a contestant ever quit the show over their mentor? I know Rachel Hyland threatened to over Dannii last year, but I wonder about contract obligations if it actually happened.
Oh, and I agree on Danyl. He was initially my fave, but he and Jamie have both become way too cocky too fast. It’s bad when they make Robbie Williams look humble in contrast. I’ve switched over to Joe because he seems genuine and because I tend to vote Northern.
I adore Jamie, Stacey, Joe and Danyl. Have loved them since the first auditions they had. I was really shocked this week. It is turning into a farce. J&E can’t sing, they can’t dance in time with the songs and are very annoying. Had any other judge got the groups, they would not have made it through to the live shows! Fair enough to them for giving it a go – after all, as bad as they are, they “want it” but if they stay much longer, I may give up lol! In effect, Louis sacrificed MissFrank – who whilst being far from my favourite had potential – in order to save his Irish twins. It is all a bit of a sham. This weekend, most of the acts were good except maybe Lloyd [and of course J&E] and yet two really great acts ended up in the bottom two? Why? I think it will be good if Danyl gets a good position in the line up – after all, J&E have had the last to perform slot so shouldn’t be given it again.
Cheryl has also said the twins should be out by now so it isn’t just Simon. Maybe once Dannii loses an act to the force of the twins, she too will realise how silly it is getting. It reminds me of Strictly Come Dancing last year where everyone kept John Sargent in when he couldn’t nice because he was entertaining. Only, unlike SCD, this competition could actually change someone’s life [whereas SCD is for charity and thus lots of people voting, even to keep someone 'bad' in, is good in relation to the money it raises].
Fingers crossed something will be done to let us see the back of the twins – and sooner rather than later!