Dispatches from the South: The Telly
May 7, 2009 by Mike
Filed under British TV, Dispatches from the South
Another one of the surprising differences British life has to offer is the Telly.
First off, you can’t watch one without a license. No, really, they’ll come and arrest you if you do; they have ways of finding out. You can’t listen to the radio either, so don’t try. The reason is the disputed “License Fee;” a fee you must pay to the BBC if you want to watch TV or listen to the radio without The Bill coming to pay you a visit. Many Britons resent paying, but I think it’s great value for money because it breathes life into one of the true wonders of this modern age: The BBC Documentary.
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| The Bill – this one is on commercial television. |
In the US, you have commercial TV, and the sponsors pay the money so they get to say what gets shown, and what gets shown is designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator. The idea of making truly wonderful, thought-provoking, hugely expensive shows simply because they ought to be made even if no one watches them just cannot be conceived. But this is what the BBC excels at. They had one on recently about (of all places) the US—Yellowstone National Park, specifically—and it ran for four weeks in all its high-definition, panoramic, and uninterrupted by commercial advertisements glory. Perhaps you in The States will be able to see it on PBS one of these days—we got to see it during prime time, and it left us mesmerised.
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| Okay, sometimes it’s not all that good. |
Granted, UK television airs enough homemade dreck, along with ample helpings of US programming, to keep the overall effect less than stunning, but if you pay careful attention to The Radio Times (that’s another surprise, if you want to find out what’s on the telly you have to read The Radio Times) you’re bound to find something well worth your time, and the license fee. And if by chance–between the period dramas, nature documentaries and comedies–you don’t find anything intriguing on the telly, you can always listen to the radio.
Even after all this time, British radio is beyond me. My wife, being a native, is a natural at it, but I can’t get over the idea that, if you want to listen to 60s music, you have to study The Radio Times (yes, it’s called The Radio Times for a reason) to find out when the allotted slot will be and what station it’s playing on. But if you get the hang of it, there are many diverting programs on the radio, including informative talk shows, comedy game shows, radio plays and investigative reports.
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| And some of the better shows do come from America (though Hugh Laurie is actually British). |
But back to the telly (I actually still call it the TV; I only use the word “Telly” when I’m trying to sound British), if you have the patience to sift through the flotsam, you won’t find better programming anywhere. Even the commercial channels are not above producing some fine prime-time shows, and to people like my wife and I, who stay in quite a bit, it is a welcome diversion. Shows like Foyle’s War, Coast, Waking the Dead and, of course, Spring Watch. (Spring Watch, for the uninitiated, consists of a number of well-known people scattered around Britain sitting in the cold or huddled in a hut somewhere watching for signs of spring. It’s hugely popular, really.)
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| But when they get it right, it all comes together beautifully. |
And one final difference: To turn the telly on, don’t press the “ON” button – press the channel number button, instead. To turn the TV off, press “ON.”
What can I say; it’s England.
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Author Info - Mike is an American living in Southern England in Horsham. Mike blogs weekly on Thursdays about Life in the UK. Check out Mike's recent book, Postcards from Across the Pond as well as his awesome blog. Read more from this author
Nice write up. One slight correction – you do not need a licence to listen to the Radio! Try Radio 4 – I couldn’t live without it…….
Andy, I stand corrected. A look over the fine print on my TV license and a very quick Google search confirms you do not need a license to listen to the radio. I was always told you did, and what do I know? However, my TV license did indicate a difference in license type for a color (or colour) TV and Black and White TV license. If you opt for the B&W option, you are not allowed to watch colour TV or to record it or to view it on a PC. I think that law is ripe for updating; if B&W TVs and not extinct yet, they are very nearly there.
You used to have a license for the radio, before TV, so maybe that is where the idea came from.
Actually, you do not need a licence to watch TV – read your licence guide even closer and you will see that you only need it to watch live BBC TV broadcasts. As long as you never watch live BBC you do not legally need one.
One amusing point is that the average fine handed out by the courts for watching without a licence is, on average, lower than the cost of the licence…