Talking Telly: ‘The X Factor’ Fangs Come Out Early
October 12, 2009 by Dana
Filed under British Music, British TV, Talking Telly
I swear that Talking Telly will not turn into a weekly recap of “The X Factor”. Mostly because I expect to keep an interest in the show for about two more weeks, which is still three weeks and 1/2 hour more than I made it through “Strictly Come Dancing”.
But tonight was the first live final, the first time that my favourite singer has ever appeared on a reality show, and most importantly there was a LOT of controversy. So you get my thoughts before I go back and watch Harry Hill and Piers Morgan, whom I both like a hundred times more than Cheryl Cole.
- Somehow I completely missed Dannii Minogue’s alleged anti-bi slur against the last act, Danyl, who was so fantastic that he’s going to be very hard to beat. I think I was too busy being peeved with Louis Walsh’s comments against his performance of “And I Am Telling You“. Or maybe I took Danni’s comment at face value – since he’s been very vocally out in the tabs since his first rehearsal, he didn’t really need to change the gender references in the song.
I thought Simon Cowell was about to strangle someone at the end, but it seemed to be more because Danyl gave an incredible performance but was slated for it. If Dannii was truly implying something anti-queer (which would be attacking a big part of her and her sister’s own fanbases) she’ll apologize Sunday night. For some reason Danni’s the only judge that comes across really well for me, and I’m pretty sure that she’s genuinely kicking herself over that comment. Otherwise, it’s just the usual tabloid rubbish.
- The other really dramatic judge-fight of the night was over the second act, Kandy Rain, whose members have a pretty entertaining past history. Cheryl made a big deal about how little they were wearing. I don’t know how much folks in the US have ever seen of Cheryl’s group, Girls Aloud, but I haven’t seen them perform in anything more than embellished underwear since about 2004. Simon rightly pointed that out, and for Cheryl to get pissed about it is just hypocritical. I didn’t think I could like Cheryl less than I liked her last series, but tonight she seemed to think that having a winner last year gives her the room to become Simon. Not yet, dear.
- Robbie Williams was smart and kept most of his advice towards the stagecraft end of the mentoring. Which is something he would know about better than anyone (still has the largest 3-day total attendance in history for his Knebworth shows) and he actually managed to teach a few of the acts about. Jamie “Afro” Archer was the one I expected to learn the most and then blow us out with an energetic rendition of something like “Let Love Be Your Energy”. Jamie was actually my big disappointment of the night.
And I know that there’s a lot of crap said about Rob’s work since he ditched former writing partner Guy Chambers, most of which I disagree with. But I seriously don’t know why certain songs weren’t sung. “Angels” is one of the most popular pop ballads in history but requires a very wide range to sing (ex: David Archuleta’s butchering of it on “American Idol”) so not seeing anyone tackling it the first week was not a shock. But what about “Feel”? Or “Ghosts”? Or “A Place To Crash”? And I would’ve given good money to have heard Danyl sing “She’s Madonna”.
That said, Joseph did the best Rob cover with “No Regrets”. Second best was Olly with “She’s The One”, which is actually a cover itself, and Rachel the third best with a complete reworking of “Let Me Entertain You”. The worst by far was John and Edward’s bad karaoke rendition of “Rock DJ”. I’m halfway convinced that Louis hopes that the entire UK somehow mixes them with Ant and Dec and then votes for them. They made Sanjaya from AI sound like a maestro.
- Stacey is up there with Danyl amongst the ones to beat, just as long as she doesn’t talk. Someone Twittered that she sounds like Donna Noble on “Doctor Who”, which is the biggest insult I’ve ever heard against Donna. But she actually sang Coldplay better than Coldplay. After Diana Vickers’ butchering of “Yellow” last year, I was ready to ban them from further use in singing shows.
- Lucie was also a lovely singer, but I think she would be a wee bit better with a couple more years experience. Much the same could be said for the entire boys category, excluding Joseph.
Sunday night comes with Rob’s performance of his new single “Bodies”. And if John and Edward make it to next week, I’m giving this show up and will really suffer through “Strictly Come Dancing” for the rest of the year.
Edit: Since Jonathan was great enough to not post this before the Sunday final, I retract that final sentence. I have no idea how anyone could have voted for them, but I don’t think I should be punished for a few million people’s questionable taste. But seriously, someone please explain why the twins got through? Ireland can’t even vote, so it’s not that. There are lots of cute twins in the world, so it can’t be that. I don’t get it at all.
I rather enjoyed Kandy Rain, and I’m sad that I won’t get to see them on Diva Week dressed in birkas, because that’s the only way that Cheryl and Dannii would ever like them. Rachel should’ve never been in the bottom two in the first place. My bottom two would’ve been Rikki and Miss Frank.
And since all the talk on Twitter is folks convinced that Robbie Williams was high on something tonight, I will stand up for him. This was his first live show in three years. He’s known for messing up lyrics even at his best. And I think his reaction at the end was sheer “I made it through the song!” If you look back at the video where he really was undoubtedly high or drunk, it’s not the same. Give him some slack, guys.
Author Info - I've always felt British despite being born in a tiny town in southern Tennessee. I've wandered around a lot, mostly due to my career in new media for local TV stations, I currently live in Huntsville, AL and use my TARDIS to watch British TV. My favorite Brit shows are Britain's Got Talent (heck, anything Ant and Dec do is a fave), Torchwood, Doctor Who, The Sunday Night Project Project, Later...With Jools Holland, and a million different things. Read more from this author
I have to agree with Dani and Cheryl about Kandy Rain. You don’t say in one breath that you want people to forget your stripper past and focus on your singing and then in the next breath take the stage in pleather stripper gear. I think if they had just said “Hey, yeah we were strippers and we aren’t ashamed” it would have been expected that they would carry that message through with their performance on stage, but the message they were sending in their interviews and what they portrayed on the stage were conflicting and that is what Dani and Cheryl were getting at. Although Dani and Cheryl do perform in sexy outfits, there is a fine line between sexy and trashy and I think the ladies of Kandy Rain were well over that line.
I think the British public DID focus on their singing and not their outfits though which is why they went home. Outfits aside, their singing was well below the standard of the other acts.
The thing is, how do most female acts and girl groups that are geared toward the Radio 1 audience dressed? Look at not only Girls Aloud, but the Sugababes, Lady GaGa, Beyonce, etc. I don’t think Kandy Rain were the best act, but I thought they were much more together than Miss Frank (admittedly, they’ve only been a girl group for about a month, but still.) And in the sing-off, I thought Kandy Rain was far more together than Rachel. Do I think Kandy Rain should’ve won outright? Not a chance. But I do think they have a better chance at a record deal than 9/12ths of the other acts.