Two articles about Liam Gallagher acting like a prat in one week. Yes, I know it’s basically my wheelhouse as British music columnist to cover the antics of the Gallagher brothers, but I’m surprised that in the FOUR DAYS since I wrote my last article about them, so much has happened.
Anyway, simply put, Liam Gallagher got completely blitzed at a London pub. No surprise there, but things got really weird when he tried to ride another patron’s dog. I’m not sure whether to file this under “British Music” or “Weird Britain.”
On April 21, Liam spent all afternoon drinking at the Ye Olde White Bear pub in Hampstead, racking up a £300 bill in the process. He drank several £47 bottles of Billecart-Salmon champagne. He almost left the pub without paying, but the pub manager ran after them. A source said: “After £300 of drink you forget things. He was happy to pay straight away when I caught up with him,”
But, of course, you’re probably wondering about the dog-riding incident. Well, according to The Sun: “He tried to get on the dog’s back and they were just taking little steps – but it just didn’t work. It was really funny.” That’s all we know. We don’t know the breed of the dog or even if his niece Anais (who encourages people to turn in suspected animal abusers) has any comment. Just that Liam decided to ride it.
Given that, last month, he got thrown out of a pub for being drunk, I think this sort of thing will soon be standard operating procedure for Liam.
On the business side of things, Liam also spoke to Shortlist on the sound of his new album, how he won’t use any effects on his vocals during the recording of B.E. so critics will stop saying he can’t sing: “I’m sick of fucking idiots saying I can’t sing, you know what I mean? So I thought fuck this, no effects, none of that double tracking as much. Let’s get in there bare, this is how I sound, man. This is how my voice sounds so hopefully people will like it and get off my fucking back…It’s how I sound round the fucking house or on the back of a camel or whatever.”But it’s been a while since Oasis talked about how willing they are for a reunion, hasn’t it? Well, it turns out both Gallagher brothers had something to say about the possibility of a reunion. Liam has responded to accusations that Oasis’ 2009 split was done so that they could make more money separately. He told Q: “Listen, it’ll happen when it happens, but it ain’t a fucking game – it’s the real deal. I read a lot of people going, ‘Oh, it’s just a blag, innit? So they can get some more noughts on their big fucking comeback.’ But I’m still me and he’s gonna be him. I ain’t changing for a million fucking pounds. I might do it for £30million.” And you just know somewhere, some eccentric billionaire is going to pony up £30 million to try to get their favourite band together.
Meanwhile, Noel has said that when he talks to his former Oasis bandmates, he’s far too busy talking about Aussie duo Jagwar Ma and London psych rockers Temples. And Jagwar Ma are unnerved to discoverthat one of their idols knows they exist.
On an unrelated note, Liam has said that, when he dies, it won’t be because of his drug use or because he spends all his time getting blitzed, but because of his war effort: “I won’t die of a drug overdose or a fucking drinking habit. I’ll die of living and breathing and being in a band. It won’t be over snorting a line off someone’s head or drinking a daft drink. It’ll be because I’m into it too much. I’ll die of caring too much.” The NHS is not forthcoming with the statistics for mortality from “caring too much.”
So, in conclusion, Noel, Liam, please at least give someone else a chance to act like idiots so I can talk about them for a change.