Anglotopia

I’m generally not big on shows that feature dancing or ice skating, although I make a big exception for “Let’s Dance For Comic Relief” every other year. Note the “every other year” part, and the fact that it’s only four weeks long and doesn’t last for seemingly five hours each Saturday night during its run.

However, “Strictly Come Dancing” is one of those grand television traditions that pays for the salaries of at least three writers per tabloid each time it comes out. And since last year’s series did not fare well against “The X Factor,” there was a lot more pressure to bring out a lineup that at least gets people talking. That was accomplished in spades with only one name: Ann Widdecombe.

Widdecombe is a former Tory MP who held ministry posts under John Major. She’s probably better known to the younger folk for some of her conservative campaigns and for documentary programmes where she basically decried the declining morality of Britons. She is also not the skinniest of people. I hate to even bring such superficial things into this, but hey, it’s going to be mentioned all over the tabs for months, believe me, so don’t let it be a shock. Between her getting on this show and the whole Wayne Rooney mess, this week’s return of “Mock The Week” has pretty much written itself.

Probably the second biggest name (in England, at least) is Patsy Kensit, who is departing a longtime role on “Holby City” and has been married to a good portion the of the 1990′s heyday of Britpop. Then there’s former rugby star Gavin Henson, who just broke up with “Voice of an Angel” Charlotte Church. Both have spent a fair amount of time in the press.

Felicity Kendal should be the public’s sweetheart. She’s an OBE who became famous on “The Good Life” and was a guest star on Series 4 of “Doctor Who.” The possible fave as far as demonstrated dancing ability is probably former Destiny’s Child member Michelle Williams. The John Sargeant of the year may possibly be 72-year-old TV magician Paul Daniels. And for the weird quotient is DJ and party circuit regular Goldie.

For the rest, I rely on descriptions from my fellow Brit culture geek Joe, who would fill in all the sport questions if we were doing pub quizzes. Pamela Stephenson the first non-North American cast member on Saturday Night Live back in the day and is married to Billy Connolly. Peter Shilton was the England goalkeeper who was on the receiving end of Maradona’s Hand of God goal at the 1986 World Cup.

Most of the rest are all your usual Brit soap filler, IMHO – “Coronation Street’s” Tina O’Brien, and “EastEnders” stars Scott Masien and Kara Tointon. Also, “Blue Peter” presenter Matt Baker and “East is East” star Jimi Mistry.

All in all, through my day job I am paid to actually care about “Dancing With The Stars,” who announced their own lineup this week. I like this one better. I knew what about 2/3 of the cast are actually famous for, which is a high percentage on these shows. Some of them look like they might be really good. And if I can stomach those loooooong episodes, I might tune in and see how long I can try to hang on to see Patsy Kensit dance – she’s a particular fave of mine after her very good episode of “Who Do You Think You Are?” And since all indications point toward this being Bruce Forsyth’s last series on “Strictly,” maybe it’s time to take a national treasure for a last spin.