One would think a local Riddleton, in the West Yorks, has stepped back into the late 1930′s. However, Michael McTigue, hasn’t he is living and breathing in 2011. Mr McTigue has a passion for the era and lives his life, when he is not driving a school bus as if it were 1938.

What does living in the late 1930′s entail in 2011 you ask? Well for a start McTigue, doesn’t own a washing machine. He prefers to do it the 1930′s way, with a wash tub and run the clothing through a mangle, a rolling pin like device that squeezes excess water out of the clothing. You wont find a computer in this house either. You will find authentic 1930′s radios, record players, and keeping slightly with the times a 1947 black and white television. The one modern convenience that you will find is McTigue’s semi-detached home is a refrigerator.

He says that this was a much simpler time, and I tend to agree with him. I wish in a way we could go back to a time before televisions, computers in every room and smart phones, to a more simple way of life. Perhaps McTigue has the right idea.

Check out the original article on the Mail’s Website with more pictures.

Weird Britian: British Man Lives In 1930′s Time Warp is a post from: Anglotopia.net

There is such a romance about the British country house, I wonder what it would have been like to be a guest at a grand country house during this time in history. I would have adored participating in all of the events of a grand weekend in the country. While I cannot travel in time, Life in The Victorian Country House by Pamela Horn, gives a wonderful idea of what it would have been to be there. Reading the book, I felt almost as if I were actually in a Victorian country house.

The book encompassed all aspects of what a grand country house would have been like, from who lived and worked in the home to the activities that would have taken place, and everything in between. The book has a wonderful collections of pictures of daily life and illustrations from the time period.  The information in the book allowed me to immerse myself in the daily life of the Victorian country house.

I loved this book. I loved all of the illustrations that showed the daily life. I really enjoyed the parts of the book that talked about Victorian and Edwardian fashion. I wonder what it would have been like to go about my daily activities dressed in such style. I loved that book gave such an accurate view of such a grand style of life that is rarely seen today.

Life in the Victorian House is a wonderful glimpse into daily life of the Victorian home. The book is organized in a easy to read way that allowed me to feel almost as if I were a grand lady living a day in beautiful country home. I especially loved the chapter on growing up in the grand country house. I found the book to be a historically accurate view of this type of life.

I would highly recommend, Life in the Victorian Country House to any Anglophile. It was a wonderful view into such a grand way of living. I enjoyed seeing the real photographs and illustrations throughout the book. The book covered such a vast array of topics about the country house that I would have not originally sought out to research, but I was glad to have read about. I highly recommend, Life in the Victorian Country House by Pamela Horn.

Brit Book Reviews: Life in The Victorian Country House by Pamela Horn is a post from: Anglotopia.net

The perception of Bingo as the quaint English game played on a seaside pier has long gone. Bingo is played by huge numbers of the public across the country and in many other parts of the world. Bingo has come a long way from its halcyon days in the 1950′s when it was found on sea piers.

In the competition each contestant had three (3) minutes on stage in which to entertain and create rapport with the audience before calling their game. Many sing and the others tell humorous stories.

Then it’s down to business. They are given points for style, reeling off the numbers in a game, delivery and clarity of calling. They are also interviewed by the five judges before proceeding with the competition.

Aside from bragging rights and a gold trophy, the winner receives £500 plus a trip to America and the chance to call a bingo game in a Las Vegas casino.

Finally a winner emerged, Welshman Peter Lewis from Castle Bingo Club in Cardiff was declared Britain’s best Bingo caller. The 59 year-old scooped the award, in front of a large audience many of whom where his supporters who had travelled to the final from Wales.

Weird Britain: The Bingo Calling Championships is a post from: Anglotopia.net

I used to thing that Lawnmower racing itself was odd but this just takes the cake!

Teams of eccentric racers take on the 2012 12-Hour lawn mower endurance race in West Sussex.

Odd Britain: Lawnmower endurance race in West Sussex is a post from: Anglotopia.net

A pub in Yorkshire, UK, has made fish and chips weighing 45.36 kg on Saturday, breaking the Guinness World Record held by American pub in Boston who cooked 35.4 kg of fish and chips.

Looks delicious!

Odd Britain: Pub in Yorkshire Fries World’s Largest Fish & Chiips is a post from: Anglotopia.net

Britain is known for it’s insane property prices – but the Daily Mail has the latest example of Britain’s property price madness.

A beach hut for sale for £250,000 ($400,000).

From the article:

It is a Tardis inside with two floors, gadgets galore and is expected to sell for £250,000.
The newly-built hut measures just 23ft by 6ft, but has a marble wet room and a fitted kitchen with granite worktops.

It can sleep four people – two on the ground floor and two on a mezzanine – and the owner has a private terrace right on the beach.

There’s under-floor central heating and electric windows which close automatically when it rains. It also has Freeview TV, DVD and wireless internet.

The hut in Shaldon, Devon, is in the middle of a row of five, with the others being rented out for up to £120 a night.

Source.

Odd Britain: Where A Simple Beach Hut Fetches $400,000 is a post from: Anglotopia.net

It’s surprisingly easy to have an affordable holiday in Britain. From cheap hotels to inexpensive (or free) museums, there’s a lot to see and do that won’t cost you a fortune. But don’t be fooled into thinking you’re stuck with the usual castles and classic artworks. Britain is home to some of the quirkiest exhibitions you’ll ever see! From dentures to dog collars, check out some of the most unique museum collections in the U.K.:

Hunterian Museum, London

Inspired by the work of 16th-Century surgeon John Hunter, this collection offers a glimpse into the unsettling reality of medicine through the ages. Its glass cabinets contain some fascinating exhibits, such as original surgical equipment and medicinal relics from previous centuries. Peer into specimen jars containing actual preserved human remains, including Winston Churchill’s dentures and the brain of computer pioneer Charles Babbage.

http://www.rcseng.ac.uk/museums

British Lawnmower Museum, Southport

Whether you’re a lawn perfectionist or simply want to experience something a little different, the British Lawnmower Museum in Southport is the place to go. Set up by former racing champion (and lawnmower enthusiast) Brian Radam, the museum houses a surprising number of exhibits, from Victorian-era garden machinery to lawnmowers of the rich and famous. You can even see Brian May’s and Prince Charles’ lawnmowers (although one suspects the royals don’t do their own mowing).

http://www.lawnmowerworld.co.uk/

Dog Collar Museum, Leeds

The late John Hunt was a respected medievalist, but also an avid collector. After his death, Mrs Gertrude Hunt put his impressive collection of dog collars on public display. Initially a collection of about 100 items, this has been expanded to what is now the rather curious Dog Collar Museum, housed within the grounds of Leeds Castle. See a huge range of doggie accessories which spans decades; some exhibits dating back as late as five centuries ago.

http://www.leeds-castle.com/

The Cartoon Museum, London

Home to over 1,500 cartoons and drawings, there’s also a library with thousands of comics and books to browse. This animated gem is located right in the heart of the business district, hidden amongst the bustle of London hotels and offices. It’s worth seeking out though; from much-loved cartoon characters to political caricatures and animated satire, this is as much a U.K. history lesson as it is a taste of nostalgia.

http://www.cartoonmuseum.org/

The Gnome Museum, Devon

Just a stone’s throw from the Devon/Cornwall border lies the magical world of garden gnomes, The Gnome Reserve. This museum and garden focuses on the ecological and entertaining, and is home to more than a thousand garden gnomes and woodland characters. The ponds, woodland gardens and flower displays are worth visiting for their loveliness alone, but the gnomes are what bring the visitors here every year. The reserve is recommended for “adults whose sophistication has robbed them of a freshness of vision.” In other words, borrow the free gnome hats and fishing rods, and join in the fun!

http://www.gnomereserve.co.uk/index.htm

Exhibit… Eh? More of Britain’s Weirdest Museums is a post from: Anglotopia.net

The fastest grass cutters in Britain do battle as the Grand Prix season gets underway.

If you think this is odd, there’s even a Lawnmower Museum in Liverpool.

Weird Britain: Lawnmower Racing Season Begins in Britain is a post from: Anglotopia.net

A British man named Pete Johnson from Manchester, England – having a bit of a mid-life crisis – has decided to travel across North America and visit every town named Manchester.

According to the BBC:

Pete Johnson, 53, from Sale will criss-cross the United States by motorbike, starting in Massachusetts and finishing in California.

On the way, he will cross mountain ranges and deserts, a journey he’s described as a “dream come true”.

The self-employed plasterer is due to return to the UK on 14 June.

Mr Johnson – a keen motorcyclist and proud Mancunian – said he got the idea browsing the web.

“About three years ago, I discovered through the internet that there were 36 towns called Manchester in the world and 32 of them were in the States.

“Being a motorcyclist and in my mid-life crisis and all that, I decided it would be a good idea [to visit them].”

The bike he will be using – a Honda Goldwing 1800 cruising bike – has been shipped out to Boston where his epic journey will begin.

“The first Manchester is actually Manchester-by-the-sea which is 30 miles north-east from Boston,” he said.

You can follow his journey on his blog here at United States of Manchester.

British Man to Travel Across America and Visit Every Town Named Manchester is a post from: Anglotopia.net

I don’t know what’d more odd – the fact a man from Wales converted his garden shed into a 1950′s style American diner or the fact that there is an entire website dedicated to garden shed modifications…

Paul Siudowski from Wales has turned his garden shed into a 1950′s style American diner and is up for Best Shed of the Year 2011.

Check it out below:

See more pictures and vote for Paul for shed of the year here.

Odd Britain: Welshman Builds 50′s American Diner in his Garden Shed is a post from: Anglotopia.net

Record-Breaking Britain: Experience Something Special

The U.K. is home to some of the world’s record-breaking wonders, although chances are, not everyone is aware of them. Forget researching cheap holiday deals to far flung destinations; Britain has some world wonders of its own. From Europe’s longest roller coaster ride to the narrowest hotel in the world, you can marvel at some of the U.K.’s record-book curiosities:

Europe’s Longest Roller Coaster – North Yorkshire, England

Paris may have Disneyland, but the longest roller coaster in Europe belongs to a little amusement park in North Yorkshire, England. Lightwater Valley theme park hosts a number of exhilarating rides, but its biggest claim to fame is “The Ultimate,” a 7,450 ft-long roller coaster ride. Until 2000, this was the longest roller coaster in the world. Although it was pipped to the post by a Japanese ride created in 2000, it’s still the second longest in the world. One thing’s for sure, you’ll certainly be getting more ride for your money.

For more information see: http://www.lightwatervalley.co.uk/

World’s Oldest Railway – County Durham, England

Rail enthusiasts can revel in steam train adventures with the world’s oldest railway in County Durham. The Tanfield Railway dates back to 1725, when it was used to transport coal. Nowadays the steam train runs passenger services every Sunday and all bank holidays, traveling a very scenic six-mile round trip from Tanfield to Sunniside in Gateshead. For a world-record double whammy, it’s worth noting that the route also passes by Causey Arch, the oldest surviving railway bridge in existence.

For more information see: http://www.tanfieldrailway.co.uk/

World’s Narrowest Hotel – Moffat, Scotland

The Star Hotel in Moffat, Scotland, is only 20 feet wide and 162ft long, yet manages to fit its nine comfortable guestrooms over three levels. Taking its official place in the Guinness Book of Records as the narrowest hotel in the world, the Star Hotel proves that good things do indeed come in small packages. With a tranquil location on the very scenic Southern Upland Way, the hotel also serves up traditional Scottish fare, such as proper haggis and decent meat pies. The perfect spot for wee Scottish holidays.

For more information see: http://www.famousstarhotel.co.uk/

Britain’s Smallest Pub – Suffolk, England

The Nutshell in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk, is the smallest pub in Britain. While other tiny establishments may attempt to lay claim to the title, most of them seat the majority of their clientele outdoors. Not so the Nutshell, which contains its seating area completely within its 15 x 7ft interior – enough for about 10 patrons at once. The Nutshell has been a beer house since 1873, and continues its good work into the present day. Keep those elbows in!

For more information see: http://www.thenutshellpub.co.uk/

Record-Breaking Britain: Experience Something Special is a post from: Anglotopia.net

The Telegraph has put together an excellent article about some of the cultural quirks at Oxford and Cambridge.

Here’s an excerpt:

Subfusc

Subfusc is a mode of full academic dress worn by students to sit exams and attend university ceremonies such as matriculation at Oxford. Generally it consists of a suit, white shirt and bow tie for men, and a black skirt or trousers with a white blouse for women.

Graduation in Latin

Parts of the graduation ceremony take place in Latin, including statements where degrees are officially conferred on graduates. This tradition has remained despite the majority of students no longer speaking the dead language.

University police

Until 2003, both Oxford and Cambridge had their own private police forces, who were responsible for discipline within the university. The force at Oxford was abolished in 2003 but the Cambridge University Constabulary remains.

Read the rest here.

The Quirks of Oxford and Cambridge is a post from: Anglotopia.net

The Tetbury Woolsack Races take place every year in the historic market town of Tetbury in the Gloucestershire Cotswolds. 

Individuals and teams demonstrate their strength and fitness by carrying a sack of wool up and down a hill that reaches a gradient of 1 in 4. It is thought that the races originated in the 17th century when young sheep drovers showed off to local women by running up the hill carrying a woolsack. There has been an official race day for over 30 years and the world records for the race are entered in the Guinness Book of Records.

The woolsacks, custom-built by the British Wool Federation, weigh 60lb (27kg) for the men’s races and 35lb (16kg) for women’s races. The original course of 280 yards (256 metres) ran from the Royal Oak pub to the Crown but since 1999 a shorter course of 240 yards (220 metres) has been run.

In the 16th century Tetbury was one of the best-known wool and yarn markets in the country, but the wool trade went into decline in the early 19th century. 

On race day there is a funfair in the town, street entertainment and a street market.
HRH the Prince of Wales’s Highgrove Shop is in Tetbury, selling exclusive branded gifts that reflect the personal interests of Prince Charles and are inspired by the gardens of his home at Highgrove. All profits from the sale of Highgrove products are paid to the Prince’s Charities Foundation. 

The Tetbury Woolsack Races, 30 May 2pm–4.30pm, Tetbury, Gloucester 
Website: www.tetburywoolsack.co.uk

Here’s a video from last year’s race:

Odd Britain: The Tetbury Woolsack Races is a post from: Anglotopia.net

One thing that astounds me about Britain is the variety of place names – many of them rude and hiliarious. So, we set out to create the biggest list we could find of funnysound places names in the United Kingdom. The result was a list that features towns and villages like:

• Crapstone
• Beaver Close
• Feltham Close
• Hole Bottom
• East Breast
• And hundreds more!

Now, I must warn the faint of heart – this list is rather cheeky and rude but I can assure you that they’re all real places in the United Kingdom!

Read the entire list here.

In addition to this long list – we used all the words on the list to make a fun infographic that visualizes the island of great britain by it’s funny names. Check it out below! It’s great!

British TV Guide

Best of all you can embed this and share it on your own website or blog, just grab the embed code below!

<a href=”http://www.anglotopia.net/ultimate-list-of-funny-british-place-names/” mce_href=”http://www.anglotopia.net/ultimate-list-of-funny-british-place-names/” alt=”Funny British Place Names – Anglotopia”><img src=”http://www.anglotopia.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Funny-places-in-britain-map-medium-branded.jpg” mce_src=”http://www.anglotopia.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Funny-places-in-britain-map-medium-branded.jpg” /></a><br><a href=”http://www.anglotopia.net/british-tv-guide/” mce_href=”http://www.anglotopia.net/british-tv-guide/”>British TV Guide</a>

New Site Feature: Funny British Place Names is a post from: Anglotopia.net

I realize that I’m posting this right at the end of the summer, possibly not the best timing for a post such as this but I’ve had so much excitement this summer from the process of getting my ILR Visa to the Tall Ships Races here in Hartlepool and Red Dreams Pitch Invasion music festival last weekend that I just haven’t had the opportunity to finish this post and publish it. Well, a bit late but I suppose it can serve as a tool for reminiscing or for planning for next summer.

Summer in Britain is glorious, while Brits will tell you it is “red hot” or “boiling” outside, in most parts of Britain it rarely gets above 80º F and even that is pretty rare. A normal “hot” summer day in Britain is in the low to mid 70′s. Sure you need to remember to put on your sunscreen, but it’s comfortable to stroll around and enjoy the sun without getting unbearably hot and ducking into the next air conditioned building you find. Here are the top 10 best things about Summer in Britain:

1. Ice Cream

A typical British summer afternoon usually involves stopping into a seaside shop for an ice cream or running for the ice cream van. The quintessential British ice cream treat is the 99 Flake or sometimes just called a “99″. It’s a regular soft serve vanilla ice cream cone with a Cadbury Flake stuck into the top. Most shops and ice cream vans usually offer the option of topping your 99 with “monkey’s blood” which is simply a raspberry syrup. Cadbury sells regular sized Flake bars, but the 99 Flake is specially produced by Cadbury for this ice cream application. There are many speculations about where the name “99″ comes from and according to Cadbury it has been “lost in the mists of time” but regardless of the origins of the names it’s a simple, delicious and very British thing.

2. Fish & Chips

Right next to the seaside ice cream shop where you get your 99 you will usually find a fish & chip shop. On a nice day here in Seaton Carew you walk down the main street and there are two fish & chip shops, one “on the left” and one “on the right”. Over the years the people from the town have come to regard “the one on the left” as the best chippy in Seaton Carew, being a local and living just down the street I’ve actually discovered this commonly held idea is actually false and “the one on the right” is much better. Even though “the one on the left” has changed owners at least once since I’ve moved here, people still line up out the door at this chippy convinced that it’s the best. I would imagine this is a fairly typical situation in other seaside towns and villages across Britain. On a nice summer day people fill benches and squat on curbs with the curiously shaped “chip fork” in hand and a styrofoam carton of greasy fish and chips. It’s an essential ingredient to the British summer.

3. Going to the Beach

In the North of England going to the beach isn’t what it is in the US or in the warmer Southern parts like Cornwall. Here you must go to the beach fully clothed most days, there isn’t much sunbathing to be done and many people will bring with them a kind of half tent or simple bit of tarp attached to some wooden poles that act as a wind screen. You will see children darting in and out of the freezing cold water, but for the most part going to the beach here in the North East means sitting fully clothed on the sand and taking in the views. It might sound boring but there is no need to reapply sunscreen every twenty minutes after sweating it off, there is always a refreshing breeze coming off the water, it’s great people watching and there are lots of opportunities for outdoor activities like playing a game of soccer on the beach or some of the best kite flying conditions you’ll ever find.

4. Late Sunsets

I sometimes forget how far North I truly am until the winter when the sun rises after 9am and sets at around 3:30pm or in the summer when the sun rises at 4am and sets at 10pm. The British summer day is LONG and it’s one of my favorite things about living this far North!

5. Music Festivals

There are several outdoor music festivals over the summer, the most famous of course being Glastonbury but there is also Cream Fields, the V festival and many other small local festivals that will crop up anywhere you can find an open bit of land and permission to plop down a stage. For the second year in a row Hartlepool had its own music festival called Pitch Invasion which was organized by the music charity I volunteer for, Red Dreams. It was fairly small with about 6,000 people attending over the two days, but it definitely had the festival vibe and gave local bands a chance to participate in this British summer staple.

6. Parks & Gardens

Britain has some gorgeous parks and public gardens, even the smallest in the humblest of towns are lovingly maintained and groomed. Here in Hartlepool the largest is Ward Jackson Park which has a bit of something for everyone, there is a little “woodland walk” which is a dirt path that winds through the trees and brush, there is a traditional landscaped typical English garden area with perfectly manicured flower beds and there is a duck pond where hobbyists often bring remote control boats to zoom around on the calm water. There is also a children’s playground and lots of open space for playing frisbee or just lounging on the grass. Having a stroll through a well maintained park is one of the best parts of the British summer.

7. Barbecues

If you are lucky enough to have a back garden or know someone who does, a barbecue on a summer day is a great way to relax. A British barbecue isn’t much different from an American one although it’s definitely a lot more relaxed. Where American men usually have a state of the art grill or smoker or other very manly outdoor appliances and maybe plan ahead by marinating meat and other impressive culinary tricks, Brits like to keep it simple with a small grill and simple burgers and sausages and jacket potatoes (baked potatoes if you’re American) with all the fixins’ on the side. There will always be lots of cold lager and cider to go around as well!

8. Beer Gardens

When the weather starts to heat up in the Spring the first thing I start to look for is the beer gardens opening up. On a sunny afternoon pubs’ beer gardens are packed with people relaxing. It seems no matter the day of the week or time of the day, if the sun is out and it’s warm enough to sit outside there will be people in the beer garden enjoying frosty beverages. I’ve walked into a Wetherspoons pub at noon on a Tuesday for lunch to find the beer garden brimming with people enjoying a pint in the middle of the day. There is just no keeping people away if the sun is out and there is a beer garden nearby.

9. Caravan Parks

All over the UK you will find holiday caravan parks. Caravan parks are a collection of “caravans” or basically trailers that are specifically for the purpose of renting for a week like a cabin or hotel room and then in the middle of the caravan park there is usually a pub and lots of stuff for kids to do like pools and arcades. I haven’t been to one yet since I’m more of a tent and campground kind of person, but for families it’s a great way to get a camping-like experience in a more comfortable and kid-friendly environment.

10. Camping

The North of England is dotted with prime camping areas. The Lake District, the Yorkshire Dales, The Pennines, and even just here in the Cleveland Hills. Britain has some serious campers and the natural beauty of this country is ready-made for some of the best camping experiences. The one thing about camping here that is much different from the US is that in this day and age it’s incredibly difficult to find a campground that has fire rings. I was shocked last summer when I was looking for a place to camp and only found a handful of places in the area I wanted to go that allowed fires. Blame the culture of Health and Safety, but I just can’t imagine a campsite without a fire at night for roasting marshmallows and telling stories.

That is my lineup of the Top Ten of the British Summer, it’s a bit late but we’ve still got a few more warm days to squeeze out of Summer 2010 and there is always next summer!

Dispatches from the North: Top 10 Best of the British Summer is a post from: Anglotopia.net

Photo from Flickr

To continue with my “I’ve been here how long?” theme, this week we’ll take a look at some of the things I would like to adapt to, but just can’t seem to get the hang of.

On the up side, I am pleased to say I can now travel around without getting lost (too often), can complain about the weather with the best of them, and even speak the language like a native. What I still cannot get to grips with however, are British eggs, electricity, aspirin and time.

The electrical sockets here are 220 volt. Yes, even for a night light or a Glade Room Freshener. This makes the Brits very cautious around electricity and practically eliminates amusing anecdotes about the time you convinced your little brother to stick a bobbie pin into an outlet. As a safety precaution, wall plugs have switches on them, so you can turn the power off “at the mains.”

This is all well and good, as long as you remember to turn it on at the mains. I wish I had a 5 pence piece for every time my laptop ran out of power or I turned a light off and on half a dozen times wondering what was wrong with it or I returned to the kitchen after 20 minutes to see why I didn’t smell dinner cooking only to find the stove stone cold and the mains power still switched off.

And time, over here, is military-style, with trains arriving and leaving at such times as 16:34 or 19:04. And for some reason, I just cannot get used to this. The simple formula of subtracting 2 and losing the first digit (turning 18:46 into 16:46 or 6:46, for example) often has me thinking that my 18:47 train is due at 16:47 so that would make it 4:47. Even with a 24-hour watch, I would still have problems adjusting. The whole thing gives me a headache.

Which brings me to aspirin. The abiding belief that topping yourself by eating a handful of aspirin means you cannot buy it by the gross, as in the US. So I am forced to buy it in boxes of 12. And you can only buy one at a time. Consequently, when I get a headache, I have to go buy a box, take two and then put the box somewhere that I will remember it in the future. The medicine cabinet seems like a good place, and I swear that is where I put them, but weeks later, when I have another headache, the box has disappeared. So I have to buy another box.

Somewhere in this flat, there are about 187 12-packs of aspirin with 10 tablets left in them. I expect we’ll find them if we ever move out.

Photo from Flickr

As for eggs, I spent 46 years developing the perfect tapping technique for cracking an American egg and then found out—to my bitter disappointment—that the skill is non-transferable. The problem, in my opinion, is they don’t feed their chickens enough DDT or whatever it is we feed them in the States because the shells here (on their brown, not white, eggs) are hard as walnuts.

Since it is my privilege to make breakfast on weekend mornings, and since my vegetarian wife and I have a limited selection of foods in common, a typical morning meal inevitably includes eggs. A favourite of mine is eggs over easy, and my wife likes fried eggs (they are the same thing, by the way) but the odds of me getting a yolk out of an eggshell in one piece are about the same as the Labour government sweeping to victory at the polls in the next general election.

Now, I know from experience that I have to hit the egg harder than I am used to, so I steel myself and give it a good whack. Generally, the first blow glances off the armour plating leaving hardly a nick. The second blow, delivered with more determination, adds a dent and a few cracks. So the third blow is practically guaranteed to end up with me holding a dripping mass of canary yellow goo, splintered eggshell and a good deal of something that unnervingly resembles snot in my hand.

We eat a lot of scrambled eggs.

But only if I remember to turn the stove on at the mains.

Dispatches from the South: American Things I Still Can’t Do in Britain is a post from: Anglotopia.net

If you’ve been following my column here on Anglotopia, you know I am batty for all things Beatles. Practically every book, film, video game, you name it, I have devoured it.

Needless to say, my curiously was piqued when I saw that Liverpool Hope University is offering a new Master’s degree in The Beatles. Hailed as the first master’s degree of its kind in the world (obviously!), the program focuses on The Beatles’ music and their influence throughout popular culture and society.  The program consists of four 12-week semesters and will cover topics such as the postwar music industry, influence on politics, fashion and how they were influenced by their hometown of Liverpool. A dissertation is also required.

All of this sounds fantastic, but what good is a Beatles degree? From a history perspective, one would learn about how society changed in post-war Britain and the world.  Musically one could learn how they changed the recording process and pushed the boundaries of instruments and lyrics. Or how their music was the soundtrack to the civil rights movement, women’s rights and the Vietnam War.

But what good would a Beatles Master’s be? According to Mike Brocken, senior lecturer in popular music at Hope University says, “I think any MA equips people with extra study and research skills. MAs of any description are vital for the workplace. You will find that once you have done a master’s degree it separates you from the pack.”

That is a valid point. From what I have read, this program isn’t just sitting on the banks of the River Mersey around listening to Beatles music; there is actual work and thought required.

So what do you think? Would you go for a Beatles Masters? Do you think it is worthwhile?

Anglophile in Exile: All You Need Is… a Beatles Master’s Degree is a post from: Anglotopia.net

Two things happened this week, I moved into a new home, and I bought my first garden gnome.  To be fair, I bought it ironically, but I’m now a gnome owner just the same.   And the most awesome thing about my gnome, apart from it’s essential gnomeness, is the fact that it is powered by the sun, having a lantern, which actually lights up.  All for less than a tenner.  God bless these hard economic times.

My gnome came from Home Base, a sort of UK equivalent of Home Depot, cast carelessly between bad cast-iron patio furniture, paint stripper and desk lamps, peering out from the drab concrete and DIY jungle, begging me to release it into the garden of my new house.  Reminding me of the gnomes from ‘Gnome’ by Wil Nyugen, which my parents had when I was a kid, he’s complete with a little red hat, little blue shirt, and kick ass LED SOLAR POWERED LANTERN.

My gnome is the best two reasons–one, because it’s total kitch chique.  I mean why have four or five plain black solar powered lamps lighting up your back garden, when you can get a built in gnomes to go with them?  Two, because it means I’m on the verge of developing my first English eccentricity.  From here, the world of gnomes has burst open, and I may find myself in years to come like the archetypial trailer-dwellign cat lady, awash in gnomes, to the point that they find me dead, three-hundred and fifteen gnomes cluttering my trailer, stuck in cupboards, peering out of the dishwasher, strewn across the floor alongside my body, which still proudly bears the logo ‘Chillin with my gnomies’.

Even if that scenario plays out, I wouldn’t be the man who took gnomes to the extreme.  Let me introduce you to The Gnome Reserve.  My wife and I found the gnome reserve the last time we were in Devon, and our lives have never quite been the same.  Because the gnome reserve is 4 acres of solid-ass gnomeage.  They have over 1,300 gnomes at last count, big gnomes, little gnomes, black gnomes, white gnomes, gnomes playing poker, gnomes taking a leak, a gnome orchestra, the gnome graveyard (for gnomes who have lost their paint and grown into small gnome-shaped piles of moss), an entire gnome beachfront complete with gnome surfers.  It is all gnomes, all the time,  at the Gnome Reserve.  The woman who runs it even makes gnome art, which while maybe a step or two down the artistic rung from say, Picasso, at least has a pretty consistant theme. Gnomes spill out as you walk down the reserves paths, like a wild English garden of gnomeness.  Plus, you can get a cream tea, and everyone gets to wear a gnome hat.  There is nothing bad about the gnome reserve.

But–you cry–we Americans can do gnomes too!  And that’s true, America has made great strides in gnomeness, from Chomsky,  The World’s Largest Garden Gnome, to a massive gnome theme park in the South somewhere that I sadly can’t find the link to.  But what makes Devon’s gnome reserve so English is the fact that it’s A) fairly hard to find, being located up a small, one-lane Devon country road, B) completely devoid of rides, ticket stalls, and gimmicks, and C) obviously not designed with commercial gain in mind, but rather to make a few quid off someone’s already existing eccentric hobby.  While there is a wee gnome-themed gift shop, this is not a place to buy gnomes, but rather, a place to appreciate them.

So I took the plunge, and never looked back.  I bought the gnome, I took him home, and now I’m that small first step on the way to a huge eccentricity.  The look of slight unease and thinly veiled pity in my wife’s voice when she agreed that I could get the gnome cemented what I already secretly believed.  I am on my way to something bigger.  I’m on my way to a full on gnomish eccentricity.

Dispatches from the East: At Play in the Field of Gnomes is a post from: Anglotopia.net

The final post in our Britannia in Brief series is a fantastic article from co-author William Mullins about how to behave in a British pub. I’m glad he decided to write about this as I’ve experienced the confusion of being a pub for the first time. Be sure to check out the rest of the posts for Britannia in Brief Week.

It should be straightforward – I mean, you’ve got bars here in the US – but I’ve always been struck by the trepidation that fills visitors to Britain the first time they have to step up to the bar at the pub and navigate the strange ritual of British pub etiquette. Quite understandably, no one wants to make a public fool of themselves in that inner sanctum of British culture, the public house.

In our book Britannia in Brief my wife Leslie, who blogged here on Anglotopia on Tuesday, and I explain the different kinds of pubs you’ll encounter, what they’ll serve in different parts of the country and how to navigate the culture. Following are a few tips which will help maximize your own pub-roving travels!

Do’s

• Go to the bar to order drinks. Only very smart establishments, (i.e. not pubs,) will have table service.
• Order beer by the pint (men) or half-pint (women); never by the bottle.
• Pay for your drinks when you’re served, and expect to pay in cash.
• Offer to buy drinks for all your party rather than just slipping off to bar on the quiet. The British tend to drink in rounds - etiquette of rounds can get complicated,) so if your offer is taken up, don’t be alarmed – you’re off the hook until everyone’s had a turn. (Though if you want a glass of water or a packet of crisps, or some such, as well as a drink go get that yourself.

Don’ts

• Tipping will cause confusion. If you must, offer to buy the bartender drink which they may chalk up for later, but most Brits would only go to this extreme if the publican had just single-handedly rescued him and his family from a burning car.
• Don’t be afraid to bring a child to the pub during the day, especially in the country. Unlike America, this won’t have social services coming to take your child away!
• The pub is not the place to order frou-frou drinks. No self-respecting publican will serve Long Island Ice Tea, Buttery Nipple shots or Espresso Martinis. This isn’t to say there aren’t pubs that will serve these, it’s just that they’re not the sort of pubs any self-respecting tippler should frequent.
• Don’t ask for or expect the bar staff to pour you a particuarly large measure of liquor. Though prices vary between pubs, measures do not and are strictly regulated by law. For spirits the standard serving is 25ml, the EU having done away with the wonderful old measures: 1/6th of a gill in England and 1/4th of a gill in Scotland.
• Be a little more reticent about drumming up conversation than you would be at home. It’s not that people don’t want to talk to you, it’s just that they’re a little taken aback when someone they’d never laid eyes five minutes before suddenly sticks out their hand and introduces themselves as Tim from Topeka. To the Brits this sort of bumptiousness is annoying and plays to all their stereotypes of the loud American. Break the stereotype, be yourself, be patient, don’t try to hard, go with the flow and you’ll find yourself welcomed and appreciated by the natives!

Britiannia in Brief – The Scoop on All Things British – was written by Leslie Banker and William Mullins. It’s the ultimate guide to Britain for Anglophiles! To purchase Britannia in Brief: The Scoop on All Things British – click here. And be sure to check out their great blog here.

Britannia in Brief Week: Don’t Be a Pillock in the Pub – Do’s and Don’t's of British Pub Etiquette is a post from: Anglotopia.net

I have known for a couple of weeks now that I wanted to write a post about social clubs, but I am having a difficult time describing the atmosphere of a social club because there is just nothing like it in the US. A social club is like a marriage of an American Legion club and your local dive bar. The drinks are cheap, the clientele are mostly regulars who have their usual spot, and there is always and I mean ALWAYS bingo. Social clubs are not dark and dingy like a regular bar, the lights are usually blazing and everyone sits around low tables that are just large enough to hold your drink and scratch off your bingo card. 

I went with some friends a few weeks ago to go see a “club band” at a local social club. I was fully expecting the band to be mediocre and for most people to just casually listen while carrying on with their talking because that is what I am used to when I go see a band at a bar. This cover band was actually fantastic and very professonal, the lead singer could sing like Steve Perry and the guitarist looked like Bret Michaels and they had a great sound system. It was like going to a regular rock concert, expect everyone was quietly sitting around their tables and watching like it was any other night in the social club.

The thing that struck me is that the people in the social club looked like they could be going anywhere. In the US it seems like if you go to a concert, the audience is usually dressed like the band. If you go to a country concert the crowd will be a sea of cowboy hats and belt buckles. If you go to a hard rock concert there is going to be a high concentration of leather. But here in the social club, even though the band sounded and dressed like hardcore rockers, the audience looked like they could have been the patrons of any casual dive bar. 

Then the first act ended and they turned up the lights for a game of bingo. I tried to imagine this happening in the US, I tried to visualize going to see a hard rocking band and then breaking up and turning the lights on for a game of bingo and it is absolutely unimaginable. I think someone would be chased out of the bar for even suggesting bingo.

I was utterly confused and feeling out of my element, I was loving the music but the whole environment was just throwing me off. As everyone around us enjoyed their game of bingo I explained some of my thoughts to my friend and told her I found it strange that everyone just sat around and sang along but nobody got up to enjoy the music. Then she explained to me that nobody is allowed to get up and dance during the first half. I have since heard many different reasons as to why this is, but it seems that the social club is only licensed for people to get up and dance during the second half and it would be too expensive to meet health and safety regulations to allow dancing during the whole show. It has just become an understood rule now that you only dance during the second half. Then sure enough after the game of bingo was over, the band started again and immediately the dance floor filled. I was flabbergasted, I just couldn’t imagine going to see a good band and enjoying the music and only getting up to dance for the second half. 

There are so many things about social clubs that fascinate, puzzle and delight me. Its a great alternative to the regular “night out” here in Hartlepool where every night club is playing the same dance and pop music and you keep seeing the same people in the same clothes and never get a chance to sit and actually enjoy time with your friends. Now if only I could just get more into bingo…

Dispatches from the North: And Bingo was its Name-o is a post from: Anglotopia.net

Filed under the ‘Only in Britain’ Banner. According to the Times Online recently, a brand new steam engine has had it’s final tests and is ready to roll on Britain’s mainline rails.

What’s odd about this is that they simply don’t make steam trains anymore. Much to the annoyance of Train Anoraks everywhere. So, a group of enthusiasts took it upon themselves to build their own Peppercorn Class A1 Steam Engine. From Scratch. From the original plans.

For £3 Million.

It took 18 years, but a dedicated band of enthusiasts successfully built this magnificent steam engine from scratch and it’s now ready to serve Britain’s rails for heritage tours and for special hire.

Believe it or not, I actually saw a documentary that was made over the 18 years tracking the construction of this beautiful machine. Their dedication was simply amazing. It’s also very British, such dedication to something seemingly pointless to outside eyes.

I think it’s brilliant and one of the best things about Britain. I hope one day I can take a ride on the Tornado.

You can read all about the Peppercorn A1 Project here:

The Official Website of the A1 Steam Locomotive Trust

Huge Article on the A1 Tornado on WikiPedia

Only in Britain: Let’s Build our Own Steam Engine is a post from: Anglotopia.net